To you~

Relationships are a bed of roses (at least it is to me back then). When it's over, it's just over and I know it's very hard to accept it because we tend to keep it in our hearts, no matter what, it's still something that very precious to us. When we are in relationship, our partner is everything, we eat less, sleep less and spend most of our time together.

When it's over, I look back and it's fun, sweet, sad, disappointment, happy, anger and all. There are no words to express my feelings. It's confusing. I love to look at her smile when she is happy, I'll do everything for her just to see a smile on her face (although it's nothing to her). I really hope my relationship will last long enough till the moment I'll go back to my Father in heaven.

Looking back at the issues that we quarrel & fight, really seems like 2 small little kid fighting for candy. We point our fingers at each other and saying bad things about each other. Small issues like, i spent not much time with her, not sacrificing for her, not willing to travel, dirty and lazy. So much more.

Back then, these issues really get on my nerves because she nag me non stop. But when it's over, she no longer nag me, she no longer complain, she no longer fight with me. Is it an end, or just another new beginning?

Now, I'm standing here, myself, feeling that it's just me against the world. Life seems to be messed up because of relationship. The funny thing here is that all those issues aren't a big deal at all because she cares. I know I cant be a good bf, leaving her is the best choice and it's the right choice.

She deserve someone better than I'm. At least now I know that I wont be a burden for her like she said.

I never understand the real meaning of this statement "If you love a person, you don't need to own her" now i know why. Looking at her having her friends with her, and people who loves and care for her beside allows me to release it peacefully.

This really something that I kept inside my heart for a long long time, I've been through counseling, scolding, advicing and so much more. But it's still inside my heart because I'm serious, just that I never expect it to end. Maybe it's just we are not meant to be together.

Love is not a bed of roses (now I finally understands it), thanks for everything that you have done for me, taking care of me, looking after me, our snoopy and so much more that we have gone through. I can never say enough thanks to you.

I still remember Pangkor, church camp (where my life start to change), your birthday party for me, lending me money when i'm not having enough, and fetching you to ICOM. All these I will never forget, and I'll keep all these in my heart forever and ever even my future partner ask me to forget it.

My best of wishes to you that may you found your partner that you looking for. God bless you. I will grow up and move on, you don't need to worry about me. ^^

Love,
Vern