Alone

Looking at people around me getting along.
And I'm single and alone.
Things just seem to be something missing.
Hate this feeling a lot.

I can't recall the feeling of dating, or courtship.
It seems that girls that I interested end up not available.
I guess that it's just not the right time and right one for me.
So when will it be? I have no idea.

I'm not very desperate for relationship.
But I wanted care and sharing feelings to.
Am I ready? Well I just hope that start of with just friends.
I have no girls that wanted to do so.

Alone, alone and alone.
Guess that's how the way it should be.
Perhaps career is my the only things I've to pay attention.
Sigh~

Assignments~

Lots and lots of assignment this semester
It's getting heavy and heavy each semester
It used to be 1 assignment per subject
Now 5-6 assignment some certain subject
We have enough time for it
But need to work very hard
Not by just myself as well as other members

Still have 2-3 assignment yet to be done
Some not even started to discuss
All those due dates are at the end of week 13
And now week 9
4 more weeks to go
Can I finish it up?
Of cause I can and I must!

真的是得空死，不得病。

Life is like a coin.

Life is like a coin, there are 2 sides on it. Head and tail. Which 1 would you prefer? Head or tail? But you must realize that it's still a coin.

Same to our life, we got problems, issues in our life that get our head spinning around and around. We tend to look at it as a problem that is too big for us to bear, we cried, we depressed and finally we gave up on it. We neglected the other side of the issue. No matter how bad is the situation, forever there are a good side of it that keep us moving on.

Lately I have some issue with myself, I look into it and found out that what I wanted and it turns out to be the other way round. I invested time, money and effort hoping it will bear forth fruit like what I planned. It turn out to be a seed that still 'asleep'. I tried and I tried but nothing seems to be change, it remain sleeping.

I was upset why it never grow up as according to what I planned, I was depressed too. But then again, my friends told me about it and I tried to look in a different way, to my surprised, I found out that it's the way I look at it is wrong and I can't force the seed to bear forth fruit in the wrong time. It needs time, the right time to flourish!

What I learnt today, problems is not that bad if you look in a different way, never say never. Before you judge and comment on something or someone, make sure what is the truth. Never speak out of anger and resentment, holding grudge will not help you but it hurts you even deep. Understand why the person thinks how he/she think, if it's wrong then try to talk to them. Never force them to change even it's the best for them. Let go of the string that you attached to them, allow them walk themselves even they might fall. In due time, they will learn. Stand beside with them when they fall, pull them up and walk with them again.

Overcomer or Surrender?

Positive or Negative?

Transform or Conform?

Head or Tail?

Light or Dark?

Blessing

This week is really really a roller coaster week for me, ups and downs is like never ending. Ok, let's start with not-so-happy problems.

Friendship has always been a thing that I really pay a lot of attention on, I have the responsibility taking care of CHC members in Utar PJ, well the main reason is because I'm the eldest member of all and should be doing that. I faced a lot of issues, friends quarrel, argument and cold war. I'm kinda used to it because friendship must go through trials and tribulation to grow more stronger. In other words, I've to take this challenge more positively. At this time, things that are not so pleasing happen, anger arouse and hurtful words began to splattering our target. It's not right but we must learn to control our mouth, it's very powerful and the words will haunt people for life.

I'm trying to be a better person, so what I can do is to take care of them, any problem I have to settle for them and looking after them in every area of their life. Can they trust me? Some does, some not. Yes, cause they're touched by the way I show my love and care for them. No, cause felt pressured by me and go against me. I felt sad and disappointed over all the commotions and false accusation on me. I've always been someone to pull them out of their darkness yet bad things happen, I was accused.

I don't really know why they would say such a thing to me, but it's all OK. Because I've my other members on my back. They know me and they will support me. That's W26. I'll overcome the problems positively!

Enough about the sad things, time for happy thoughts!

1st. Joey Lee finally get her spiritual gift! The Tongue! I'm very glad and grateful for it. Not just that, she's getting her car tomorrow! Wow, when God pour out His blessings, you don't have enough room to contain it!

2nd. Kevin, 1st time to our church and he felt the presence of God! What is more impressive is that he is a strong Buddhist! Indeed God can do all things!

3rd. W26 never been more stronger than now! We are united, we are a family, we are brothers and sisters. We always have each other on our back. Together we conquer the world!

4th. It's my turn! Mom called and thinking of getting me 2nd hand Kancil. Finally, I got myself a car soon! Yes! No more walking everyday to school, lunch, dinner and church! It's a Kancil, but still it's a blessing! That's not all, my band got our contract finally, it's just matter of time when are we going to sign it, after we do so, officially, ARC will be establish and I'm on way to pursuing my dreams.

I strongly believe that God have more blessing to pour in our life! Remember, Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship and lifestyle. I hope that God will bless you if happen that you read this! God bless you~

Memories..

I strongly believes that there are reasons that specific things happen in our life, it's to equip us to face the future. To me, life is like video game. We are brought into the world as a character that is unique and play the story that prepared by God. Just like "The Sims", we create our own image and build relationships, work, marriage & kids till old and die. That's the game.

Look more details, our life have different levels and stages. Each every level have couple of stages that we need to go through and will lead us to the next level. For example, if you can't make it through level 1- stage 1, you can never go to level 1- stage 2. Just that simple, but many of us just can't understand this fact. Even you understand, but it is not easy for you to pass a specific task.

For me, well last time it has always been family, friends and studies. But I've already done with it, I'm pretty much closer with my mom just like friends. Friends? I do have some great friends around me, someone that I can pour out my feelings and just cry in front of when I'm done. How bout studies? Oh well, that's the biggest issue of my life. Studying isn't my thing, I hate theories, I hate calculation, I hate philosophy, all I have is my common sense and that get me to where am I now.

The most hottest topic of all "BGR". I do not have partner and I don't think that I'm well prepared. Ever since the last relationship thing, disappointments, arguments, quarrels, hatred, sadness...... I kinda give up now on that, nevertheless memories stays. I've watch tons and tons of movies, I really don't get it, after break up, why that actor can't forget about the actress, but now I finally get it. MEMORIES.

I realize that, even after break up, memories remain sweet and loving. Suddenly today I browse through my pictures, I saw all those pictures that we took, laughter, smiles, hugs and kisses, it's just priceless.

It's almost a year after the break up, I guess. Looking at her always talking about how good is her bf, I do admit that I'm not happy when I listen to those but still I've wish her the best cause this is the reality. Just wondering what about me? I don't think I need any relationship, but just someone that is close enough to share my ups and downs.

The journey is tough, but if I get over it, I will be in the next level. I'll be more mature in handling my problems and relationship, hope that I won't repeat my mistakes in past relationship. I don't wanna waste another 5 more years and realize that things not working out.

I guess I won't be taking relationship seriously till I think I'm ready for it. Let's say... perhaps 28? 30? Will I get married? Seriously, I'm not sure about it, I've been doing serious thinking and not really into it, hopefully someone can change my mind. By the way, average life span of a Rock Star is expected to be 40. If I don't have a partner I guess I don't mind that's my last birthday.

It doesn't matter how old you die, as long as you had a meaningful life.

1 Malaysia= 1 Music?

A Ruthless Cleansing has been gigging around KL area for quite some time, let's not forgetting competitions as well. And just say that we got recognition by a lot of person because we are going out to the market place. Place which is open to the public and reaching out to mass audience. Of course it's not fun at all cause many times people can't accept our music as well as genre. Well I'm not saying that everything is bad, we have good feedbacks too, such as people that look up upon us and also support us! (Thanks guys!) 

Coheed & Cambria is coming to KL for 1 day show on 1st Aug. Junk is the host and they are looking for an opening act for them. And so Junk requested readers to nominate the local bands that they would love to see on stage before C&C. Our fans and friends have been supporting us big time, and of course they are other people nominating other bands too, such as RAZED, A4J, LoveMeButch, and many more.

The problem is this, I don't get it why people have to sabotaging other bands to promote their own? Well you can always promoting your favorite band, but is it necessary to hate spamming? I know that it's your freedom, but it's just too childish. ARC swear to God that none of us spamming the comment box just to put ourselves on stage with C&C, not like some other bands that we know (remain secret). But we got ourself haters. This is really stupid, and know it has become Band Wars.

I support 1 Malaysia just as the same with 1 Music. Local music scenes has not been doing well ever since... Merdeka? Our local music is known to others as "cheap, no quality, bad" music, and I felt such a disgrace about it. The fact is, some of our music are really bad as in BAD, but not for all, we have good stuff too!

Talking about music, let's go deeper to my favorite genre. METAL. Local acts has been bad, what more about METAL. Our local metal band acts is not bad, we got BT, Caladrius, M.Conspiracy, Naratu, and the list go on.................. How are we going to stand out to others when there are internal conflicts of bands?

United we must stand! A Ruthless Cleansing never been sabotaging others, or defaming others. We have been accepting and making friends with everyone that we meet on the journey. But somehow we just got ourself haters. Defaming us, posting negative comment on us, making a wrong judgement.

We are here by all means just to clarify ourself, ARC never use dirty methods to get shows! 1 of our member is working for Junk, but we never have any special treatment. We separate between work and band, and we definitely have no authority at Junk. By the way, for C&C, it's up to them to choose who they felt that in line to share the stage with them, not Junk and not by spamming on the wall, and certainly not by voting!

To fans: Give every band a chance to show their talent, regardless they are established or not, listen to their materials and then only you make your own judgement.

ARC give big thanks to those who supported us all these while, and without you, there wont be us! ARC-haters, we won't back down because of all those wrong judgement and comments about us. We will work even harder to be who we are whether you like it or not. 

奇怪呢。

我已经把我心里的话说了，可是有时候还是会想。
应该把东西收起来吗？
钱包也换了，已经没有看到照片了。
可是回忆不能除掉。

看她开心也应该祝福她吧。
我现在要好好的忙音乐。
如果有人行赏我，
就来找我吧。

Life is unpredictable..

Sometimes I think that, I might be the only person who lives in a bad situation, not having the things that I should or just not fair to me. I never realize that there are people who are having much bad condition compare to me.

Today, I came across this video going to a small village in Africa. It's heartbreaking while looking at it. I know that at a certain area in Africa is not developing and rather "dead". But then this video is worse, kids there are not having proper food, nutrition, barely enough water to survive.

At the beginning of the video, when they 1st step into the village, there they saw kids lying down on the floor! Not playing with sand or doing anything but it's cause they are unable to stand up, their bones can't support their weight. What they can do is just to crawl around the place.

After watching the video, I really felt that I'm far lucky than that. At least I don't need to starve myself and I have a proper place to stay.

Thinking about going where to have your dinner? Sushi for lunch? And Starbucks for high tea? Spending Rm100 just for a dress? Complaining that you don't have enough money for yourself? Think again.. They don't even have ANY...