When things turn upside down, doesn't go the way you want, didn't meet our goals, the whole world turning against us, keep in mind, there will always be sun shine after the storm!
It's already few days over the dramas, when the least I expected, miracle happens. It's not by how good I can speak to a person but how sincere I'm towards them. My efforts paid off!
I always believe that friendship is something that we held on tight to our heart and it shall bear forth fruits! Even roses have torns, it's beautiful yet dangerous. Friendship is like a rose, when we 1st meet up and friendship just flourish and everything seems to be well, but without you knowing it, you'll get yourself hurt if accidentally touch its' torns.
Today, I experience the different side of friendship, did something that I never thought I would. Being honest, pouring out our feelings and talk to each other, nothing fishy or agenda but purely feelings, we made it clear that none of us take this friendship lightly.
What kept us wondering around in the wilderness which is the mind of conservative, especially Asians like us. Keeping our feelings and hiding it from everyone, trying to act like we are fine but we are not. Americans showed their love to their partner openly so that he/she knows about it. Why must Asians hide it? Is it something embarrassing?
I urge that we will all show the person we love and care how much they meant to us. Trust me, you'll encounter miracles!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Say Goodbye To Those Days...
Back then, I never thought I would found a cool friend like you, younger than me and also do all sort of crazy stuff like me, and the most important thing is we are both metalheads. I was saying it to myself that what a great 3 years ahead of me. Then I found another 2 close friends, and then we get together real fast as a group. Spending our time together eat and class. I was deeply touched and secure of the strong relationship that we had.
We have so much time together for assignments, lectures, tutorials, church, cell groups and lepak time. We really talk a lot about life, studies, future, spiritual growth and also relationships. Cut it short, you and I know each others issues, our taboos and also personal stories.
I always remind you again and again that I treat you very different from the others because I take you as my own little sister and I make it clear to you by my actions. It's not that easy for me to accept some strangers into my life that I called them to be part of my family. But congrats, you have made it through. Everytime without failure, I will always reminding you, that's what friends are for, it's alright you still have me to back you up, I care you that's why I tell you this, etc..
I really can't find a word to express it out how much it hurts when this happens on me. I can't get this image out of my head, that you turn your back on me, laugh and speak to a bunch of people that you never intended to make friends with, move your sit in front just to avoid sitting with me, saying 'shit' when tutor put us together in an exercise group. I'm not angry, but merely disappointed. Not at you but me, I've deeply failed my task.
I can't even make you to stay with me as a friend. I always tell myself to get my hands of all your issues everytime I rejected by you, but still I can't do it because I've already inpart this friendship into my heart. You may think I'm busy body, or it's non of my business to care about your problems, but that's what friends suppose to be. At least it applies to me.
The moment when I treasure about this friendship it just breaks off. How much more pains and disappointment that I could bear? I have no idea. I wish everything will just turn out fine. I hope after I wake up tomorrow we will sit together at our most common mamak stall, having your teh O ais and my nasi lemak while waiting for Chelsea then we just head to class. Talking crap and music and the latest updates on our favourite metal bands.
But I guess all this will not happen again as you've already make your decision. You may be asking what's the point and message I'm trying to deliever to you, my answer is I GOT NO IDEA. I'm just trying to express my feelings.
Losing this friendship to me is just like losing a family member. Since you are looking around and mixing around with new friends, I hope that they do a much better job compare to me, and I wish you all the best that you will find someone that can look after you and best of luck in Kampar. Life will not be the same again. Best of luck. I guess that's the end of the line.
We have so much time together for assignments, lectures, tutorials, church, cell groups and lepak time. We really talk a lot about life, studies, future, spiritual growth and also relationships. Cut it short, you and I know each others issues, our taboos and also personal stories.
I always remind you again and again that I treat you very different from the others because I take you as my own little sister and I make it clear to you by my actions. It's not that easy for me to accept some strangers into my life that I called them to be part of my family. But congrats, you have made it through. Everytime without failure, I will always reminding you, that's what friends are for, it's alright you still have me to back you up, I care you that's why I tell you this, etc..
I really can't find a word to express it out how much it hurts when this happens on me. I can't get this image out of my head, that you turn your back on me, laugh and speak to a bunch of people that you never intended to make friends with, move your sit in front just to avoid sitting with me, saying 'shit' when tutor put us together in an exercise group. I'm not angry, but merely disappointed. Not at you but me, I've deeply failed my task.
I can't even make you to stay with me as a friend. I always tell myself to get my hands of all your issues everytime I rejected by you, but still I can't do it because I've already inpart this friendship into my heart. You may think I'm busy body, or it's non of my business to care about your problems, but that's what friends suppose to be. At least it applies to me.
The moment when I treasure about this friendship it just breaks off. How much more pains and disappointment that I could bear? I have no idea. I wish everything will just turn out fine. I hope after I wake up tomorrow we will sit together at our most common mamak stall, having your teh O ais and my nasi lemak while waiting for Chelsea then we just head to class. Talking crap and music and the latest updates on our favourite metal bands.
But I guess all this will not happen again as you've already make your decision. You may be asking what's the point and message I'm trying to deliever to you, my answer is I GOT NO IDEA. I'm just trying to express my feelings.
Losing this friendship to me is just like losing a family member. Since you are looking around and mixing around with new friends, I hope that they do a much better job compare to me, and I wish you all the best that you will find someone that can look after you and best of luck in Kampar. Life will not be the same again. Best of luck. I guess that's the end of the line.
-R.I.P-
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
To you~
Relationships are a bed of roses (at least it is to me back then). When it's over, it's just over and I know it's very hard to accept it because we tend to keep it in our hearts, no matter what, it's still something that very precious to us. When we are in relationship, our partner is everything, we eat less, sleep less and spend most of our time together.
When it's over, I look back and it's fun, sweet, sad, disappointment, happy, anger and all. There are no words to express my feelings. It's confusing. I love to look at her smile when she is happy, I'll do everything for her just to see a smile on her face (although it's nothing to her). I really hope my relationship will last long enough till the moment I'll go back to my Father in heaven.
Looking back at the issues that we quarrel & fight, really seems like 2 small little kid fighting for candy. We point our fingers at each other and saying bad things about each other. Small issues like, i spent not much time with her, not sacrificing for her, not willing to travel, dirty and lazy. So much more.
Back then, these issues really get on my nerves because she nag me non stop. But when it's over, she no longer nag me, she no longer complain, she no longer fight with me. Is it an end, or just another new beginning?
Now, I'm standing here, myself, feeling that it's just me against the world. Life seems to be messed up because of relationship. The funny thing here is that all those issues aren't a big deal at all because she cares. I know I cant be a good bf, leaving her is the best choice and it's the right choice.
She deserve someone better than I'm. At least now I know that I wont be a burden for her like she said.
I never understand the real meaning of this statement "If you love a person, you don't need to own her" now i know why. Looking at her having her friends with her, and people who loves and care for her beside allows me to release it peacefully.
This really something that I kept inside my heart for a long long time, I've been through counseling, scolding, advicing and so much more. But it's still inside my heart because I'm serious, just that I never expect it to end. Maybe it's just we are not meant to be together.
Love is not a bed of roses (now I finally understands it), thanks for everything that you have done for me, taking care of me, looking after me, our snoopy and so much more that we have gone through. I can never say enough thanks to you.
I still remember Pangkor, church camp (where my life start to change), your birthday party for me, lending me money when i'm not having enough, and fetching you to ICOM. All these I will never forget, and I'll keep all these in my heart forever and ever even my future partner ask me to forget it.
My best of wishes to you that may you found your partner that you looking for. God bless you. I will grow up and move on, you don't need to worry about me. ^^
Love,
Vern
When it's over, I look back and it's fun, sweet, sad, disappointment, happy, anger and all. There are no words to express my feelings. It's confusing. I love to look at her smile when she is happy, I'll do everything for her just to see a smile on her face (although it's nothing to her). I really hope my relationship will last long enough till the moment I'll go back to my Father in heaven.
Looking back at the issues that we quarrel & fight, really seems like 2 small little kid fighting for candy. We point our fingers at each other and saying bad things about each other. Small issues like, i spent not much time with her, not sacrificing for her, not willing to travel, dirty and lazy. So much more.
Back then, these issues really get on my nerves because she nag me non stop. But when it's over, she no longer nag me, she no longer complain, she no longer fight with me. Is it an end, or just another new beginning?
Now, I'm standing here, myself, feeling that it's just me against the world. Life seems to be messed up because of relationship. The funny thing here is that all those issues aren't a big deal at all because she cares. I know I cant be a good bf, leaving her is the best choice and it's the right choice.
She deserve someone better than I'm. At least now I know that I wont be a burden for her like she said.
I never understand the real meaning of this statement "If you love a person, you don't need to own her" now i know why. Looking at her having her friends with her, and people who loves and care for her beside allows me to release it peacefully.
This really something that I kept inside my heart for a long long time, I've been through counseling, scolding, advicing and so much more. But it's still inside my heart because I'm serious, just that I never expect it to end. Maybe it's just we are not meant to be together.
Love is not a bed of roses (now I finally understands it), thanks for everything that you have done for me, taking care of me, looking after me, our snoopy and so much more that we have gone through. I can never say enough thanks to you.
I still remember Pangkor, church camp (where my life start to change), your birthday party for me, lending me money when i'm not having enough, and fetching you to ICOM. All these I will never forget, and I'll keep all these in my heart forever and ever even my future partner ask me to forget it.
My best of wishes to you that may you found your partner that you looking for. God bless you. I will grow up and move on, you don't need to worry about me. ^^
Love,
Vern
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Exams~
Wow, finished 1st paper which is Broadcasting 2. Omg, 1st time in my life that I actually have not enough time to finish up my paper. Usually all the papers I finished is probably around half an hour earlier, but today it's my 1st time not being able to finish it up!
What a day, exams not so stress but by the weather it drives me crazy, sorta sick actually, body can feel it's a bit over heat or sth, i really need to drink more n more water. I can't afford to get sick because having BBQ on Wed and last paper on Thurs.
Buckle up, work harder for the next coming paper! But now let get some rest 1st! ZZZ...
What a day, exams not so stress but by the weather it drives me crazy, sorta sick actually, body can feel it's a bit over heat or sth, i really need to drink more n more water. I can't afford to get sick because having BBQ on Wed and last paper on Thurs.
Buckle up, work harder for the next coming paper! But now let get some rest 1st! ZZZ...
Guardian Angel
What a day~ Traveling around just to get my 'mortal' a christmas present. I hope that not gonna be and Penny the only 2 person is serious in this game! Because the effort and sweat that we put in, going around few places, walk around and ask for the best price. I hope I'll bless my mortal what he wants.
Anyway, just back home, no place is more better than my own house, staying in the room, listening to my favourite music, watching movie, not talking to anyone and just to be in my own world. At least for only awhile, and after that it's time to connect back to the world.
Tomorrow is my Broadcast 2 exam, and yet i'm still blogging and facebooking. The main thing is I'm not nervous or worry about the exam, just feel peace in my heart. But still I'm gonna study later, just a short preparation. So jealous Chelsea, Joey and Penny, tomorrow is their last paper. ><
But it's ok, Thurs is my last paper too. Pray and do what is right! Work harder! All the best!
Anyway, just back home, no place is more better than my own house, staying in the room, listening to my favourite music, watching movie, not talking to anyone and just to be in my own world. At least for only awhile, and after that it's time to connect back to the world.
Tomorrow is my Broadcast 2 exam, and yet i'm still blogging and facebooking. The main thing is I'm not nervous or worry about the exam, just feel peace in my heart. But still I'm gonna study later, just a short preparation. So jealous Chelsea, Joey and Penny, tomorrow is their last paper. ><
But it's ok, Thurs is my last paper too. Pray and do what is right! Work harder! All the best!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Awesome!
What an AWESOME CG that we had tonight! Games was fun, laughter was everywhere, presence of God was amazing strong during praise and worship, it just gives you goosebump! Everyone was dwelling in it, just awesome! Sharing praise report was good too, keep the spirit up! Last but not least the word, May Shen did a great job in preaching about "How The Gates Of Heaven Be Open & Close."
This is the last CG meeting for 2009, and we finished the race with a great spirit! Let us not just stop and looking back at it but continue to run the race in 2010, more great things gonna happen, just sit tight and enjoy the ride!
In 2010, I strongly believe that Michael will be able to serve in praise and Hiung will be serving in worship. Liang will be able to lead CG when we multiply, and I hope to see other members to rise up too! Well in 2010, I will fight a good fight of faith and finish the race, I'll put everything I can to support W26 in the coming days!
Members of W26, thanks for being there to support us, let's grow together and serve the Lord and do according to His will! Last but not least, glad to be in the same CG with you guys! All glory to God!
This is the last CG meeting for 2009, and we finished the race with a great spirit! Let us not just stop and looking back at it but continue to run the race in 2010, more great things gonna happen, just sit tight and enjoy the ride!
In 2010, I strongly believe that Michael will be able to serve in praise and Hiung will be serving in worship. Liang will be able to lead CG when we multiply, and I hope to see other members to rise up too! Well in 2010, I will fight a good fight of faith and finish the race, I'll put everything I can to support W26 in the coming days!
Members of W26, thanks for being there to support us, let's grow together and serve the Lord and do according to His will! Last but not least, glad to be in the same CG with you guys! All glory to God!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Praise The Lord
What a blessed day! I truely see how God works in people's life! From a church dislike to a desperate church goer! How amazing God can be?
This is great because I have a chance to be a witness for Him! My friend doesn't like church, and thinks that church is boring and dull, so she never wanted to go to church. But ever since "Will You Marry Me" production, it changes her perception all the way!
Cut the story short, she do believes that God existed! Praise the Lord! And now she wanted to go to church and seek God herself!
I give thanks to God almighty that He gave me a chance to speak to her, share the gospel and be a living testimony to her. I'm touched because God still use a person like me!
All glory belongs to Him!
This is great because I have a chance to be a witness for Him! My friend doesn't like church, and thinks that church is boring and dull, so she never wanted to go to church. But ever since "Will You Marry Me" production, it changes her perception all the way!
Cut the story short, she do believes that God existed! Praise the Lord! And now she wanted to go to church and seek God herself!
I give thanks to God almighty that He gave me a chance to speak to her, share the gospel and be a living testimony to her. I'm touched because God still use a person like me!
All glory belongs to Him!
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